For many years I made New Year’s resolutions. And for many years those resolutions failed. Like most people, I would be good for a month or two then slip up. Maybe pick it back up again only to fail again. Full of hope on December 31st I would start all over again.
Some years it was to lose weight other years it was to travel more. A few times it was to save more money or spend less. The resolution was usually different each year but the results were the same. Losing interest and giving up a few months in.
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Sound familiar?
According to a study conducted by the Journal of Clinical Psychology, only about 46% of people who make new year’s resolutions are successful. Less than half of us are successful. I found many other studies that found similar or even worse results.
But for some reason year after year many of us try again.
I love the Albert Einstein quote; “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Statistically, most of us are unsuccessful and following Einstein’s definition, setting New Year’s Resolutions is making us insane. So why keep doing this?
BREAK THE CYCLE!!
What do I do instead of making New Year’s Resolutions?
Instead of making New Year’s Resolutions, I set goals for the new year. I know some of you are thinking; “isn’t that the same thing?” The answer is no!
There is more to it than just the simple Webster’s Dictionary definition but the definition of resolution is a firm decision to do or not do something. The definition of a goal is a pair of posts linked by a crossbar… oh wait that is a goal in sports. The definition of a goal is the object of a person’s ambition or effort: an aimed or the desired result.
What it boils down to is resolutions are restrictive and/or rigid. Most humans don’t like strict rules. I know a lot of people who spend most of their energy trying to figure out ways around rules and very little time trying to figure out how to work within the rules.
What does this all mean when it comes to New Year’s Resolutions?
Think about that in terms of your last New Year’s Resolution. For me, I would follow my resolution for a month or two then I would slip. Maybe a friend came to town and I splurged on a spa treatment that was not in my budget. Or maybe I had a really bad week and just wanted to sit down with a big bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream. (The yummy full-fat kind, not the light fat-free frozen yogurt.)
That one slip just broke the whole resolution. Going back to the definition, a firm decision… a firm decision does not give you any grace to have a slip. It’s all or nothing.
A goal on the other hand gives allows for some flexibility. If a goal for the new year is to lose 20 pounds by the end of the year, that one bowl of full-fat mint chocolate chip ice cream is not going to make or break success.
Eating that same bowl of ice cream every day for a year may make or break a goal but not once in a while. You can have a slip with a goal and still be on track. You can’t have a slip with a resolution.
Reflect on the past year to determine goals for the new year.
In my post about how I celebrate New Year’s Eve, I discussed one of the things I do is journaling about the previous year and use that journaling and reflection on the past to set my goals for the new year.
The way I do that is by looking at the goals I had and journaling using the following prompts:
- Which goals were achieved?
- Which goals were not achieved?
- Why did I achieve some goals but not others?
- What circumstances were in my control and what circumstances were not in my control?
- Why was this goal important to me last year?
The last question is one of the key aspects to help determine my goals for the next year.
Know your why
I’m sure many of you have heard this phrase before: know your why. I’d heard it before but never really understood it until I stumbled on my why several years ago. I had tried for many years to lose weight and get healthy. I tried everything; 100’s of different exercise programs, numerous food plans, and diets. All worked a little but none worked very well and nothing ever stuck.
Then one day I had a meltdown.
A friend of mine wanted to go skydiving. The thought of jumping out of a plane scares the crap out of me but for some reason that year I thought I might be willing. I went to the jump company’s website and was hit in the gut (figuratively) by three little words – Max. Weight. Limit. While I was under the max weight allowed, I was way too close for my comfort. That year I lost 120 pounds.
My why, turned out to be the max weight limit for sky diving. I never actually went sky diving but just knowing that my weight would not be what stopped me was what I needed.
Your why is your motivation and is a vital key to achieving a New Year’s Goal.
Should your unachieved goals roll into the new year?
The answer is yes, no, or maybe. Before rolling the goal into the next year, you need to figure out why the goal was not already achieved. Was it too rigid (maybe it was more of a New Year’s Resolution)? Were there unforeseen circumstances preventing completion? Do you have control over the circumstances? Is your why from last year the same as your why from this year? Does the goal still have meaning for you?
If you can identify why you were not able to achieve a goal last year; fix the conditions that prevented you from success; and you still have a solid why; Yes you can and should roll your unachieved goal into the new year.
Should your achieved goals roll into the new year?
The answer to this is also yes, no, or maybe. Google “goal setting” and you will find the SMART guidance everywhere. Is the goal Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and do you have a specific Timeframe?
Personally, I use the SMART method for goal setting and my specific timeframe is always the same. By the end of the year. Because of this, I have to set goals that can be achievable and realistic in the 12-month window. Some of my long-term goals however have a longer window than 12 months. Think about saving for retirement or buying a house.
Some people out there would like you to think they were able to save enough money for a down payment on a house in a few months but most of us need to take a few years to achieve this goal. To fit in with the New Year’s Goal plan and follow the SMART method I break some of my long-term goals into 12-month chunks.
If my long-term goal is to save $50,000 in the next five years, I need to save $10,000 every year. For these types of goals, yes they do roll over even though it was achieved.
I also roll over achieved goals if it helped me stay motivated and the activity brought me happiness. Think about goals like reading 5 books by the end of the year. If I was able to read 5 books in 6 months then I’ll adjust the goal to be to read 10 books by the end of the year. The desired outcome is to read more. The number is just a target for a desired outcome.
Set goals not New Year’s Resolutions
Did you notice how I used “unachieved” vs. “unsuccessful?” Yes, that was intentional. Keep in mind that any progress made toward a goal is still a success. Just because you may not hit the exact number does not mean you were not successful.
Go back and read the beginning where I listed the definition of a Resolution and the definition of a Goal. I started setting New Year’s Goals over New Year’s Resolutions over 15 years ago and have made way more progress in achieving my long-term life goals than I ever did in making a resolution.
Goals provide guidance to make meaningful progress toward the life you want to live. New Year’s Resolutions are just rules you eventually figure out how to break.
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